Satan Place: Phones, a freezer and a failed fundraiser

Max tries to play doctor with Harvey Satan while Len Lesser skulks in the background.

Episode Nine
Satan Place (original air date: 11-13-65)
Cast: Dr. Harvey Satan – Joseph Sirola, Windish – Robert Cornthwaite, Hodgkins – Bryan O’Byrne, Rudolph -Len Lesser, Gregor- Jack Perkins, un-credited Kaos thug – Roy Jensen
Director: Frank McDonald
Writers: Stan Burns and Mike Marmer
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Just before the Chief can leave for vacation, he’s snatched by two Kaos hoods hiding in the trunk of his car. Kaos bad guy Harvey Satan demands $200,000 ransom and freezes the Chief for some sort of surgery that will make him work for Kaos. Max saves the day by playing doctor -and he wins the Chief’s car during Control’s fundraising efforts.

Crowdfunding for the Chief of Control was done the hard way.

My Thoughts:
This episode’s villain is a guy going by the name Harvey Satan who has his hair and beard cut like the devil. He runs his own “sanitarium,” which from what the viewer can see is frozen over.

My toddler enjoys watching GS with me, though I had to put off watching this one until I had some alone time. A guy that looks like, well, Satan locking the Chief in a freezer may have been a bit too much to explain to a three year old. Nevertheless, it’s still a great episode for us big kids.

Getting ransom money for the Chief proves to be a headache. It’s revealed that Control is so secret the State Department doesn’t know about it. Also, an appropriation through Congress would be too time consuming since it would take three months to pass. A call on the direct line to the president nets Control $12. To be noted, the hot line to the White House is kept in a red box. It’s not the horn phone of later episodes.

Control, instead, gets creative. They resort to fundraising through a raffle – with the Chief’s property as prizes; a telethon and Hodgkins’ “Take A Chance On Our Chief” punch board. The whole effort rounds up a meager $600, the Chief ends up losing his nice furniture and Max is the new owner of his car.

One note on that swank black and white car, it reappears in the beginning of “Our Man in Leotards.” The Chief in that scene is handing over the keys and demonstrating its specs.

Dipping back to my page on the cars of Get Smart, that sweet ride is a Ford Mustang dubbed “Z the Zebra Car” According to Smartian Sue, the car was created by George Barris. His resume includes creating the Munster cars and the Batmoble. The Zebra Car also appearing in “Marriage on the Rocks” with Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra.

Special to this episode, it came with Kaos agents hiding in the trunk. 😉

Max has a fail early on when the Chief gets kidnapped. However, I think he tries to make up for that fowl-up throughout the episode.

Not only does he, along with 99, successfully switch places with Dr. Von Havok, he also has an ah-ha moment in the nick of time. He realizes if he sets the thermostat in the operating room lower, he’ll have a window of opportunity to “freeze” Harvey Satan and co. in place.

Max is even prepped for the threat of “electric grass.”

Max: Do you have a hair pin?
99: No.
Max: (pulling a Bobby pin out of his hair) I’ve got one.
99: (shooting Max a perplexed look) Max?
Max: I use it for picking locks.

Watch for: There’s some sort of phone obsession with this episode. Check out the rigmarole Max goes through to answer a call on the Chief’s private phone. Sheesh. Then there’s the bit in the park with all the hidden phones on Max’s person.

Footnotes:

A frosty Chief and a concerned 99.

• The title of this episode is a reference to 60s prime time soap, Peyton Place.
• Noted voice-over actor Joseph Sirola appeared as Van Cleff in the second season Get Smart episode, “Bronzefinger.” He also appeared in Hang ‘Em High and in an episode of Mission Impossible.
• Len Lesser was known for playing Uncle Leo on Seinfeld. Among his many roles on TV and in the movies, he appeared in Kelly’s Heroes and on an episode of The Partners. He appeared in two other Get Smart episodes: “The Decoy in season two and “The Spirit is Willing” in season three.
• The acting resume of Jack Perkins largely includes roles as drunks or bartenders – with an occasional spot as a bouncer. He appeared as Master of Games in the Star Trek episode “Bread and Circuses.”
• Roy Jensen appeared in numerous TV shows and movies including Every Which Way But Loose and The Love Bug. He also appeared in an episode each of Mission Impossible and Star Trek.

Glick meter: We get a “Sorry about That” for our troubles.
Oh Max meter: This episode finally breaks from the failed kiss routines that showed up previously. Instead, 99 gets weirded out when Max pulls a Bobby pin out of his hair.

Control Agents: Windish and Hodgkins make appearances for this episode.

Kaos Agents: Harvey Satan, Rudolph, Gregor, Dr. Laslow Von Havok, Nurse, Kaos agent in the mailbox and two Kaos agents in the Chief’s trunk.

Gadgets: Phones galore including; wallet phone, eyeglass phone, necktie phone, handkerchief phone, belt phone, garter phone; a collapsible vaulting pole and caterpillar (suction cup) shoes – just don’t get them stuck to your hand.

Episode Locations: Satan Place Sanitarium, Municipal Park

Z the Zebra Car's Get Smart debut. The real problem isn't under the hood - it's the junk in the trunk.

Of chicken suits and courtrooms

Max is "representing" in the courtroom.

Episode Eight
The Day Smart Turned Chicken (original air date: 11-6-65)
Cast: Cowboy – Simon Oakland, Blake – Phillip E. Pine, Dr. Andrew Fish – Howard Caine, Mrs. Dawson – Iris Adrian, Bruno – Richard Karlan, Morovian Ambassador – George J. Lewis, Judge – Frank Biro, Costume Man – Don Brodie, Aunt Rose – Rose Mitchtom.
Director: Frank McDonald
Writers: Pat McCormick and Ron Friedman
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Knowing that Max has to testify at a pre-trial hearing, Kaos pulls out all the stops to make the court think he’s a nut job – including a not-so-dead cowboy and a non-assassination attempt at a formal embassy party. Being stuck in chicken suit didn’t help Max’s case much either.

Awkward. Max's attempt to save the day is an epic fail.

 

My thoughts: Sometimes there are things you have to do, but you put them off. Usually this involves doctor appointments or de-hoarding one’s home. Other times it’s writing a blog about an episode you’d just as soon skip. That having been said, I suppose I could end this entry right now. However, I won’t because I know there’s some enclave of fans that get a kick out of this one.

Here’s the run down.

Max gets woken from his much needed nappies by a man in a cowboy costume that also appears to be accessorizing with a knife in his back. There’s a bit of shtick with Max getting the guy in his bed, the cowboy’s dying declaration about an assassination attempt at an embassy costume party, a visit from a phony doctor that pronounces the man dead and appropriate scoffing from the Chief.

Not about to let the matter rest, Max rounds up the only getup available from an all night costume shop – a gaudy chicken suit. His visit to the Morovian Embassy ended about how his day in court began – bad.

We get a round of witnesses on the stand that pretty much deem Smart not competent to testify — including his land lady Mrs. Dawson who can only cackle at him in disbelief. Even the Chief produces a good solid nose pinch during the hearing.

In the end, the Kaos agent’s plan wasn’t so ingenious after all. Max had his ah-ha moment and pointed out that only someone who was in on the scam would know who he was and also be willing to drink a possibly poisoned beverage. Also, this episode’s bad guy didn’t consider the matter of probability when attempting to jump from a five story building onto a pile of mattresses. Missed it by that much.

There are a couple of things to make note of with this episode.

First, there’s no 99 and she is sorely missed. We do, however, see a painting of 99 in Max’s bedroom. The painting appears in another episode, “All in the Mind.” That painting was the subject of much speculation years ago during our Friday night Get Smart chat sessions. This matter was mulled over in Smartian Controversy Eight.

Secondly, the chicken suit is some sort of homage or in-joke with respect to one of the episode’s writers, Pat McCormick. Apparently McCormick had a habit of wearing chicken suits and other goofy costumes to parties. This is noted in Donna McCrohan’s The Life & Times of Maxwell Smart. McCormick wrote a few other GS episodes and he appeared briefly in part two of “Two Sire With Love.” He plays Otto, the big Kaos agent charged with mixing Rupert of Rathskeller’s molten goo. That scene always made me snicker.

Finally, there’s those eggs at the end. Outside of my personal disdain toward this episode, there really isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s got slapstick, it’s got jokes that are on beat, it has the hero beat the odds — but it also has those awkward eggs Max absentmindedly left setting in his chair. It’s implied that the Chief thinks Max laid them. The scene should at least be cartoony, but it’s not.

Watch for: Max’s business card claims he’s Arnold Kipnis, Furrier to the Stars – until you hold it up to the light. Look for Aunt Rose in the courtroom scene. We also learn that the Chief’s first name is Thaddeus. And then there’s that bit at the end with the eggs…. sheesh.

This episode provides an Ed Platt nose pinch - with extra frustration. Check out Aunt Rose giggling in the background.

Footnotes:
• Barbara Feldon does not appear in this episode.
• Pat McCormick was a writer for the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He also had a number of acting roles, most notably as Big Enos Burdette in Smokey and the Bandit. You’ll see him playing Otto in the second part of the fourth season Get Smart episode “To Sire with Love.”
• A concert violinist, Simon Oakland played tough guys and appeared in such films as Psycho, West Side Story and Bullitt. He played Kolchak’s editor in Kolchak: The Night Stalker and appeared in Mission Impossible.
• Phillip E. Pine appeared in TV shows from the early 1950s to the mid 1980s, including Star Trek and Mission Impossible.
• Howard Caine may be best remembered as Maj. Hochstetter on Hogan’s Heroes. He also appears in the second season three-part Get Smart episode, “A Man Called Smart.”
• Iris Adrian began appearing in movies at the end of the silent film era. She had roles in many TV shows and through the 1970s appeared in a bevy of those goofy Disney movies, including No Deposit No Return – which also starred Barbara Feldon.
• Richard Karlan appears in the second season Get Smart episode “Bronzefinger.” He also appeared in an episode of The Partners (Don Adams’ post-Get Smart series) and an episode of Mission Impossible.
• George J. Lewis appeared primarily in westerns, most notably as Don Alejandro in Zorro.
• Don Brodie appears again in the first season of Get Smart in “The Dead Spy Scrawls.” He began appearing in movies starting in the 1930s and his TV series appearances ranged from the 1950s to the 1980s.

Glick meter: This episode nets the first “Sorry about that.”

Oh Max meter: No “Oh Maxes” in this one folks. We do get that lovely painting of 99 in Max’s room, though.

Control Agents: No extra agents here.

Kaos Agents: Cowboy, Dr. Andrew Fish, Bruno

Gadgets: Door Zipper, Plant Phone, Headboard Phone and the unused Painting Phone.

Episode Locations: Max’s apartment, The All Night Costume Company, Morovian Embassy and the courtroom

No, Chief, Max didn't lay those. He just forgot where he put them. Don't panic.

KAOS in Control: When knowledge of TV shows pays off

Max isn't buying Alma Sutton's (Barbara Bain) claim that she watched Captain Kangaroo as a child.

Episode Seven
KAOS In Control (original air date: 10-30-65)
Cast: Professor Windish – Robert Cornthwaite, Hodgkins -Bryan O’Byrne, Alma Sutton – Barbara Bain, Henry Ratcheck – Ed Peck, Delegate 1 – Donald Lawson, Control agent – Robert Karvelas
Director: Don Richardson
Writers: Hal Goldman and Al Gordon
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Six top scientists are scheduled to meet in Control’s secure conference room, only someone in the building has been tampering with the door’s lock in an attempt to mold a key. Things get even more complicated when someone pilfers Professor Windish’s newly invented Electro-Retrogressor Gun — a device that once fired, leaves its target with the mental capacity of an 8 year old.

Max and 99 keep their eye on Agent 17. OK, I threw this one in because I like 99's coat.

My thoughts: This episode is probably known as “The one with Barbara Bain in it.” Of course, this aired before Mission Impossible graced TV screens. Really her part in this episode isn’t all too huge, yet it is amusing at the end when she goes skipping down the hallway Don Adams.

For what it’s worth, Bain’s husband at the time, and Mission Impossible co-star, Martin Landau also appears in the fifth season Get Smart episode, Pheasant Under Glass.

Now, on with the rest of the episode.

The running gag is Max’s battle with the security key chain attached to his pants. It sticks in every lock from his desk drawer to Control’s secure conference room. At one point he resorts to taking his pants off so the scientists can be let in the room. At least in the end the device serves as a weapon that prevents Alma Sutton from shooting him with the Electro-Retrogressor Gun.

The Electro-Retrogressor Gun is its own gag. It leaves Control’s authority figures pleading to go outside and play or crying for their mother. Professor Windish is quite proud of the invention – until he’s stunned by it and relives an apparently rotten childhood.

My favorite part of the episode, though, is the scene with the Magic Ear. Don Adams, in some media articles at the time, was described as a facial actor. This scene is an example of that. The bass drum scene in Our Man in Leotards is another example.

If you catch this episode, look for this scene. Once you’re done laughing at Adams’ rubber-faced depiction of pain, look at Feldon. Is she holding her hand at her mouth to act aghast or is she also trying to stifle a smirk?

The Cone of Silence gets some use in this episode – once at Max’s request and later when every device in the Chief’s office goes out of whack.

Chief: You know this thing doesn’t work. Why do you insist on using it?

Max: Well, for one thing, it’s 20 degrees cooler inside.

For his exemplary work, and knowing that Alma Sutton could not possibly have watched Captain Kangaroo as a tike because it wasn’t on TV then, Max is awarded a Certificate of Meritorious Service.

Max: Gosh Chief, I don’t know what to say.

Chief: Don’t say anything, Max. Just read it over, then destroy it.

Watch for: Don’t blink at the beginning of the episode or you’ll miss Robert Karvelas’ incognito appearance. Also, the flashing “Magenta Alert” light is used.

Footnotes:

Shhh! 86 and 99 sort out some kinks with the Magic Ear device.

• Character actor Robert Cornthwaite appeared in a number of TV series, typically playing scientists or lawyers. He appeared as Windish in two other GS episodes, “Our Man in Leotards” and “Satan Place.”
• Barbara Bain is probably best known for her role as Cinnamon Carter in Mission Impossible. She appeared in that series, with her then husband Martin Landau, from 1966 to 1969. From 1975 to 1977 Bain and Landau starred in the cult sci-fi series Space: 1999.
• Ed Peck typically played cops or military officers – such as Officer Kirk on Happy Days and Capt. Dennis McDermott on Benson. He appeared in the Star Trek episode “Tomorrow is Yesterday” and appeared in such movies as Bullitt and Heaven Can Wait.

Glick meter: Max really has problems with that stupid security key chain. Perhaps it should have come with some WD-40.

Oh Max meter: 99 just can’t get a kiss in edgewise. She and Max, as in previous episodes, try to have another moment – until duty interrupts it.

Control Agents: Hodgkins, Professor Windish, Henry Ratcheck, Agent 17 (disguised as monkey), plus two random armed Control agents – one of which is a mustachioed Robert Karvelas

Kaos Agents: Alma Sutton

Gadgets: Security key chain (a device more trouble than what it’s worth), the Cone of Silence, Electro-Retrogressor Gun, Magic Ear Listening Device, Pocket Disintegrator Pen, TV screen under the Chief’s desk blotter, golden frisking hands in the wall

Episode Locations: Control Headquarters

Professor Windish shows off his ill-fated Electro-Retrogressor Gun.

The Old Jealous Spy Trick

The generals and the admiral react to Red Cloud's threat of war.

Episode Six
Washington 4, Indians 3 (original air date: 10-23-65)
Cast: Red Cloud – Anthony Caruso, White Cloud – Adele Palacios, Air Force General (Fred) -Willis Bouchey, Admiral (Harry) – William Zuckert, Army General Custer – Donald Curtis, Agent 43 – Monroe Arnold, Bridegroom – Armand Alzamora, Green Meadows – Barry Russo, Blue Skies – Roberto Contreras, Indian Chief – Robert Karvelas
Director: Richard Donner
Writers: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Chief Red Cloud issues an ultimatum to the United States: return all the land to his tribe or a state of war will exist. Max is assigned to infiltrate the tribe and winds up being mistaken for Red Cloud’s future son-in-law.

Max reluctantly follows 99's instructions. White Cloud was not impressed.

My Thoughts: There are a couple themes in this episode to note. The obvious one is this business involving Red Cloud and the “second biggest arrow” Max has ever seen. The idea of this episode seems ridiculous, but in the end it tries to make a point.

Max is wiling away the night shift at Control, his nose in a book on torture, when Agent 43 phones in with Red Cloud’s threat of war.

Ignoring that it’s the wee hours of the morning, Max takes command and calls a Maximum Mobilization Alert. In the process, he manages to wake up the Joint Chiefs of Staff -except for the Marine Corps general who has three weeks of leave.

The military leaders had a few ideas on the matter – namely saturation bombing of Arizona. They also mulled giving the country back to the tribe – or at least offering them New Jersey.

What I do find interesting about that scene is that while the generals are still buttoning their coats, the admiral is decked out in the uniform for a formal evening event. Perhaps the night was still young for him. Hmm…

Depending on which syndicated version you watched, parts of this episode ended up being cut — most notably the bit about the giant arrow landing in the west wing of the White House.

GS had a habit of subtly touching on social issues, hence the conversation Max had when he tried to talk Red Cloud out of launching the massive arrow:

Max: Let’s think of the past -when you ruled the great plains with your buffalo… and then came our settlers… and then our soldiers.
Red Cloud: (gives an offended look)
Max: Maybe we’d better forget about the past. The present, that’s what counts. Look what we’ve given you in the present – these nice tiny little reservations.
Red Cloud: (shoots Max another offended look)
Max: Let’s talk about the future, Red Cloud. If we take the promises of the past and join them with the polices of the present, then there’s only one thing left to say…Let ‘er rip, Red Cloud.

In other matters, this episode is considered to be the point where we see that 99 has a crush on Max. Although, every previous episode had the pair experience a failed kiss attempt. Also, there were already moments where 99 has slid up to Max and engaged in a bit of eye-batting and such.

Nevertheless, 99’s displeasure at Max being mistaken for White Cloud’s fiance is funny. Certainly 99 is not amused at the situation and when Max asks how to woo White Cloud, she instructs him to kiss the girl on the elbow.

As usual, 99 intervenes at the critical moment – well 15 minutes away from critical – and barges into Red Cloud’s tent with guns blazing. 99 orders everyone to back off. Then she glares at White Cloud.

99: You! Get furthest away!

Watch for: Check out Red Cloud’s tepees – one has all kinds of electronic do-dads and the other looks like a 1960s living room – complete with TV. This episode also gives us a New Jersey joke.

Footnotes:

A jealous 99 barks a command at Max.

• Richard Donner went on to direct the likes of Superman, The Oman and Lethal Weapon. He also directed another Get Smart episode, “Our Man in Leotards.”
• Uncredited, Robert Karvelas appears as a chief on the war council
• A fellow Hoosier, Anthony Caruso typically played villains, Italians, Indians, Arabs, Persians, Mexicans, Latinos and Native Americans. He played Bele in the Star Trek episode “A Piece of the Action” and Leonard Morgan in the Mission Impossible episode “Shape-Up.”
• Willis Bouchey appeared in numerous films and TV series. He was a favorite of director John Ford, appearing a number of his films, including The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
• Character actor William Zuckert got his start in radio. He went on to have parts in such movies as Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Hang ‘Em High. He also appeared as the Star Trek episode “Spectre of the Gun.”
• Donald Curtis’ acting credits include The Ten Commandments. He was also known as a writer and lecturer on Indian religions.
• Monroe Arnold appeared in the movie Fitzwilly which starred Barbara Feldon.
• Barry Russo had parts in scores of TV shows in the 60s and 70s. Yes, he was on Star Trek twice – in “The Ultimate Computer” and “The Devil in the Dark.” He was also in a handful of Mission Impossible episodes.
• Roberto Contreras, known for playing Pedro in the High Chaparral, also appeared in such films as Scarface and Topaz. And… he too was in a handful of Mission Impossible episodes.

Glick meter: Max spends a bit of time dwelling on the fact that everyone had three weeks of vacation but him.

Oh Max meter: 99 declares that 86 is worth two 43s.
Control Agents: Agent 43 and mentioned: Forsythe, Harrison and Saunders

Kaos Agents: None

Gadgets: Micro Camera, Electric Snake, Tiny Radio Receivers, Saddle Transmitter and a book on Indian Lore.

Episode Locations: Red Cloud’s remote reservation in Arizona

Yes, that's Robert Karvelas doing an uncredited photobomb behind Red Cloud.

When seeing is believing

The old gun on the wire trick.

Episode Five
Now You See Him – Now You Don’t (original air date: 10-16-65)
Cast: Ehrlich – Joseph Ruskin, Dr. Carl Haskell – Gregory Morton, Kaos Agent 1 – Val Avery, Kaos Agent 2 – John Sebastian, Sophie – Donna Walsh
Director: Paul Bogart
Writers: Arne Sultan and Marvin Worth
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Kaos allegedly abducts Invisibility Ray inventor Dr. Carl Haskell and tries to convince Max that the device is real -and the U.S. government should pay $10 million for it. Max is almost duped into believing he’s been made invisible – until 99 shows up and hints otherwise.

Max and 99 succumb to the effects of the Sleeping-Gas Chair.

My Thoughts: This episode initially comes off as absurd. It’s usually one I skip. When this one’s number came up, my thought was “Do I have to?” Maybe I just don’t like Max being scammed by Kaos. After all, the poor guy can make a fool out of himself easy enough on his own. This won’t be the last time Max falls for a hoax — just wait until we get to “The Day Smart Turned Chicken.”

There are a quite a few “firsts” in this episode. This is the first time we get to see the inside Max’s apartment, the first time we get to see him in his “86” embellished bathrobe and the first time the Chief pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Chief: Max, do you have something for a headache?
Max: You know Chief, you ought to go to the doctor. You’ve been getting these headaches quite often lately.
Chief: Only on occasions, Max.
Max: You’ve had one every time I’ve been with you.
Chief: Those are the occasions.

Through the use of wires, joy sticks and a speaker system, Kaos dupes Max into thinking he’s dealing with a real invisibility ray and invisible people. It’s a bit hokey, but this is par for the course with first season GS. At least our friendly neighborhood Kaos agents take the time to explain the hoax -and how the floating gun in the episode’s tag was supposed to have worked.

The scenes involving Max’s booby trapped apartment are the episode’s better moments. With the exception of the ever malfunctioning Invisible Wall (that was Control’s doing), Max created every hidden defense mechanism in the apartment.

The devices work well during their trial run for the Chief. However, not all of them operate as needed when Max is trying to dispose of Ehrlich. *Sigh* I think Max still deserves props for his ingenuity.

The Sleeping-Gas Chair is the gag saved for last. In the process of demonstrating the device, Max manages to gas himself and 99. What happened afterward is up to the imagination.

Max: I think we can make it to the door. I think we can make it to the door.

Watch for: How Max’s signaling at the window fails: The Zippo won’t light so Haskell lights Max’s cigarette with his own, leaving Max to hope his smoke will suffice a a signal.

What net?

Footnotes:
• Character actor Joseph Ruskin appeared in Star Trek and all of its spin-offs. In Star Trek TOS he appears as Galt the Master Thrall in “The Gamsters of Triskelion.” Also appearing in that episode is Angelique Pettyjohn who will play Control Agent Charlie Watkins. And for all the spy fans, he appeared in several Mission Impossible episodes.
• Gregory Morton appeared in numerous TV series. He also appeared in the movie Bye Bye Birdie which starred Dick Gautier who would later play Hymie the Robot in Get Smart.
• Val Avery appeared in more than 100 movies and more than 300 TV series including The Magnificent Seven and several episodes of Mission Impossible.

Glick meter:  The. Whole. Episode.

Oh Max meter: We get a sympathetic “Oh Max” when 99 watches 86 slam his face into the Invisible Wall. And then there’s the Sleeping-Gas Chair…

Control Agents: No additional agents in this one

Kaos Agents: Ehrlich, Haskell, Sophie and the other two hoods

Gadgets: All found in Max’s apartment – Invisible Wall, Swinging Lamp, Rigged Desk Drawer, the “Man Trap” (net that drops from the ceiling), Rigged Fire Place (a fan sucks objects into the chimney) and the Sleeping-Gas Chair.

Episode Locations: Max’s apartment, Ehrlich’s hideout

Pay no attention to the Kaos agents behind the curtain.

All the toys, toys, toys

99 explains to Max how Kaos is sending secret messages through talking Polly Dolly dolls.

Episode Four
Our Man in Toyland (original air date: 10-9-65)
Cast: Conrad Bunny – John Hoyt, Hodgkins – Bryan O’Byrne, Leopold – Buck Kartalian, Gorcheck – Lou Nova, Frieda – Helen Kleeb, Fang – Red, Larabee – Robert Karvelas, Aunt Rose – Rose Michtom
Director: Don Richardson
Writers: Stan Burns and Mike Marmer
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Control fills Bowers Department Store to the brim with agents to uncover how Kaos is sending secret information. This preferably needs to happen before Kaos makes its next transmission, which the Chief fears is on Project Skyblast, the army’s new anti missile defense system.

Bunny, Gorcheck and Frieda plot on how to properly "liquidate" 86 and 99.

My Thoughts: Entrepreneur Malcolm Forbes is credited with saying, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” That proverb didn’t come into play for Kaos in this episode.

This episode’s head villain is Bowers Department Store boss Conrad Bunny, the first in a long line of stereotypical TV Germans to rear their heads as Kaos agents. Referred to as Herr Bunny (see what they did there?), he mainly skulks around the store with Gorcheck on his side and a stuffed bunny in his arms. His concern isn’t that his employees are providing customer service -their first job is to rid the store of Control agents.

While minions Gorcheck and Frieda fear his wrath, Bunny isn’t all he’s cracked up to be. Villains tend to have a tipping point – and Bunny’s is his lost monocle.

The most noteworthy part of the episode is Max and 99’s epic toy battle. Apparently Bowers offers a wide array of toy fire arms from ball shooting bazookas to a flying toy bomb that belches out a stash of trinkets when it explodes.

The battle royale does have a bit of a cartoony flair to it — like when the ball from the toy bazooka winds up in Frieda’s mouth. At the end of the fight, the charred and singed Herr Bunny bears more of resemblance to Wile E. Coyote.

In the midst of defending themselves with the toys, 86 and 99 seem to be having fun with it – or are Adams and Feldon? After Max sprays Bunny with a water pistol, they both run off hiding the smirks forming on their faces.
Max’s commentary at the end the fire fight is fitting:

99: Max, you were wonderful!
Max: No 99, the real credit belongs to these toys. After all, we had at our disposal every fiendish and destructive play thing ever devised for the pleasure of little children. These poor devils, all they had were real guns and bullets.

While the toy war may get the most attention, there are a number of other funny moments in the episode. My personal favorite is in the episode’s tag. Max goes to investigate a package that was delivered at 121 Linden St. only to open the door and fall into an alley way.

We get an apt portrayal of Max’s cheapness with his obsession over few cents the Chief owes him from a phone call.

99, of course, solves the whole mission by discovering that Kaos is using talking Polly Dolly Dolls to transmit their messages.

In unrelated matters, I’d like to know where I can get one of those Pocket Watch Transmitters…

Watch for: 121 Linden St. – it’s a front, Max trying to get Fang to go into the vent and Herr Bunny’s search for his monocle.

Sorry, 99. No kissing in the toy department.

Footnotes:
• Uncredited, Robert Karvelas, a.k.a. Larabee in the later seasons, shows up. You can see him at the end of the episode when he tags along with the Chief to apprehend Bunny, Gorcheck and Frieda.
• John Hoyt played  Principal Warneke in Blackboard Jungle. Children of the 80s will remember him as Grandpa in Gimme a Break! He had an uncredited role as the narrator in the third season Get Smart episode “Don’t Look Back.”
• Bryan O’Byrne appeared in numerous TV series and movies including Spaceballs, Zapped! and Gus (I had to throw that one in). In addition to several shots at Hodgkins, he played Jason Van Hooten in the fifth season Get Smart episode “Rebecca of Funny-Folk Farm.”
• Buck Kartalian appeared in Planet of the Apes, Cool Hand Luke and numerous TV shows.
• Lou Nova may have been better known for his boxing career. In 1939 he defeated Max Baer in the first televised prize fight.
• Helen Kleeb is best known for her role as Mamie Baldwin in The Waltons. She also appeared in the movie Fitzwillly which starred Barbara Feldon.

• Uncredited, Rose Michtom, better known as GS Executive Producer Leonard Stern’s Aunt Rose, plays a shopper in the first department store scene. Aunt Rose is Get Smart’s all-purpose extra and spotting her is as much of a game as spotting Robert Karvelas. Aunt Rose’s parents Morris and Rose Michtom invented the Teddy Bear and then founded the Ideal Toy Company to sell the popular bears.

Glick meter:  I’m again getting shades of Don Adams’ old stand up routines, specifically when he delivers his speech on the toys.

Oh Max meter: At a critical moment, 99 moves for a kiss, but Max urges complete silence. He then proceeds to make a racket by hitting a piano.

Control Agents: Hodgkins, Fang, Agent 12 (Santa), Agent 53 (hidden in mirror), Agent 25, (disguised as a mannequin), server in restaurant, agent hidden in food cart, Larabee

Kaos Agents: Conrad Bunny, Leopold, Gorcheck, Frieda, Bowers delivery truck driver

Gadgets: Cigarette Lighter Phone, Car Phone Cigarette Lighter, Pen Listening Device, Polly Dolly and the Pocket Watch Transmitter, which only shows westerns.

Episode Locations: Bowers Department Store, unnamed fancy restaurant where the Chief is dining

Max checks in with Agent 12 who is disguised as a department store Santa.

School Days: Lessons on security

99 utters a futile scream for help in “School Days”

Episode Three
School Days (original air date: 10-2-65)
Cast: Hillary Gainesborough – Ben Wright, Grillak – Leo Gordon, Dimitri – Phil Roth, Zukor – Henry Brandon, Dean Watson – Byron Morrow, Mrs. Green – Kitty Kelly, Fang – Red, uncredited – Robert Karvelas
Director: Paul Bogart
Writers: Stan Burns and Mike Marmer
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Max, 99 and Fang infiltrate Control’s spy school to flush out a Kaos agent. Max uses the alias of new recruit Alexander Loomis while 99 works undercover as an instructor. Even Fang, aka Morris in this episode, shows up for a refresher course. In the process, Max almost gets killed and nearly flunks his weapons class.

Max and 99 try to sneak a kiss before embarking on a dangerous part of the mission.

My Thoughts: Some people tend to enjoy their school years — they’re more than happy to peruse their high school yearbooks and are probably on their class reunion planning committee.

Others have nightmares about their Alma mater — like The Old I Forgot My Locker Combination Nightmare or The Old I Have to Re-take This Class or I Can’t Go On With Life Nightmare.

Max is probably living the nightmare in this episode. He breaks his Wrist Watch Strangling wire, lands one of Control’s razor sharp hats in the neighbor lady’s yard and can’t put together an automatic weapon designed for easy assembly.

He he also fails at his attempts to expose which new Control recruit is the impostor. Spy students Grillak, Dimitri and Zukor all come off as completely shady creepers. This episode, by the way, is a character actor carnival – and a few of these guys will show up in other roles later in the series.

Outside of class Max gets caught digging through the school’s files, has knives chucked at him and is shot at. To cap it off, he and 99 find themselves tied to a bunch of dynamite with only Fang as their savior.

It’s worth noting that the spy training school is in a pretty nice looking neighborhood and tries to disguise itself as something of an old person’s rest home. It’s also worth wondering if they had to apply for a variance to be located in a residential neighborhood.

Control makes a concerted effort to keep the school’s activities secure from Kaos — hence 86 an 99’s assignment. However, the school’s neighbors know what’s up.

Max’s notion that the location is a great front comes in question when he gives Mrs. Green the password and she directs him to the house next door.

The episode’s final conversation sums up Control’s security habits:

Max (to 99): There’s nothing more important than security. Nothing. Without security, none of us would be safe.
Man: Is this Mrs. Green’s house?
Max: No, this is the spy school. Mrs. Green’s house is over there.

Watch for: Mrs. Green telling the spies in training they don’t get their hat back and Fang “blowing” out the candle.

Footnotes:

Fang debates whether or not he should blow out the candle.


• Ed Platt does not appear in this episode

• Uncredited, Robert Karvelas, a.k.a. Larabee in the later seasons, appears as one of the pool-side disguised agents

• English actor Ben Wright provided the voice of Sherlock Holmes in the American radio show of the same name. He was also known for portraying Herr Zeller in The Sound of Music and made the rounds of various TV shows.
• Character actor Leo Gordon was known for playing brutes, but was also a screenwriter and novelist. He had roles in many TV shows and movies, including McLintock! where John Wayne sends him down the mudslide and utters “Somebody oughta belt you but I won’t! I won’t! The hell I won’t.” (Would you believe I’m also a John Wayne fan?) Oh, and if you’d like to play Six Degrees of Get Smart, the score to that move was composed by Frank De Vol aka Professor Carleton.
• Character actor Phil Roth also appeared in the third season episode “Maxwell Smart, Private Eye” as the Peter Lorre type character, Mr. Peter. In addition to TV work, his movie credits include One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Catch-22.
• German-American actor Henry Brandon was known for playing ethnic roles ranging from Arab and Native American characters to Asians, including Dr. Fu Manchu in Drums of Fu Manchu. He also appears in the fifth season episode “Pheasant Under Glass” as Belasco.
• Byron Morrow typically played authority figures — including in two Star Trek episodes. He played Admiral Komak in “Amok Time” (that would be the episode where Spock returns to Vulcan to engage in a mating ritual) and Admiral Westervliet in “For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky.” He also appeared in two third season GS episodes as Dr. Harris in “When Good Fellows Get Together” and as Agent 37 in “The Spirit is Willing.” (Would you believe I’m a Star Trek fan?)
• Kitty Kelly had been a member of the Ziegfeld Follies and appeared in numerous films through the 1930s and 1940s.

Glick meter: After a hiatus in episode two, Mr. Smart’s nasal tones have returned. Max’s suspect round up at the end of the episode is reminiscent of Don Adams’ “Defense Attorney” routine.

Oh Max meter: 
We get a lot of slinky body language and an “Oh Max” for our troubles. They just miss kissing twice: Once at the beginning of the episode – only to be interrupted by Fang and as Max is trying to expose the Kaos agent and put together the machine pistol -until Gainesborough starts shooting at them.

Control Agents: Milk man; Man with briefcase; Watson, dean of the training school; and Grillak, Dimitri and Zukor — if they graduated.

Kaos Agents: Hillary Gainesborough

Gadgets: Car Phone, Watch Communicator, Multi-Part Automatic Machine Pistol (it’s designed for rapid assembly – unless you’re Maxwell Smart), Wristwatch Strangling Wire, Razor Edged Hats, Plastic Impact Bomb jacket with carbon paper lining, High Powered Binoculars,

Episode Locations: Control’s training school

Max and 99 join spy students Zukor, Dimitri and Grillak for their special weapons class.

Mr. Big: The old black and white pilot trick

Agent 86 and the Chief attempt to discuss classified information under the Cone of Silence in “Mr. Big.”

Episode One
Mr. Big (original air date: 9-18-65)
Cast: Mr. Big – Michael Dunn (special guest star), Dante – Vito Scotti, Zelinka – Janine Gray, Garth – Kelton Garwood, Mother – Karen Norris, Fang – Red
Director: Howard Morris
Writers: Mel Brooks and Buck Henry
Producer: Jay Sandrich
Filming Location: Paramount Studios, Hollywood

Synopsis: Meet counter-espionage organization Control and its top agent Maxwell Smart –who has been specially trained never to disclose the fact that he’s a spy –except maybe when his shoe phone rings in symphony hall. Agent 86 must: find Agent 99, rescue Professor Dante and get his mitts on Dante’s Inthermo before Mr. Big uses it to blow up the Statue of Liberty.

Max and 99 try to steal a kiss after nearly being vaporized by the inthermo.

My Thoughts: I guess if I have to blame something for my Get Smart addiction, it would be the black and white pilot. I never get tired of this episode. Over on www.ilovegetsmart.com I have it listed as my number four favorite episode. In comparison to how the series progressed, Max, 99 and the Chief are a bit “raw,” yet this really is a tight little episode.

I first saw this episode in January of 1991 when Nick at Nite began airing Get Smart. Unlike the rest of my Chicagoland pals who watched the show in reruns during the ’80s on Channel 32, I had never seen it before. I lived in the Mid-Atlantic prior to the ’90s and there was no Get Smart to be found on Baltimore TV.

Being an ’80s kid, there was one thing that made me raise an eyebrow the first time I saw the pilot — the voice. I wondered, why does this guy sound like Inspector Gadget? He’s even got an inflatable coat, a dog and a brainy female sidekick like Inspector Gadget did! My 12 year old mind was impressed.

The scene in this episode I love the most is Max and 99’s near kiss. After Fang saves Max from being vaporized, 99 takes off her hat and shakes out her hair. This prompts Max to utter, “Why you’re a girl!” The two then go for a kiss, which Fang interrupts.

Logically the whole concept of this scene is absurd -especially for the fact that Mr. Smart clearly needed a stronger pair of Bino-Specs with regard to 99. Comically it takes the opportunity to mock spy movie heroes that make out with Bond girls they’ve just met.

Watch for: Mr.Big’s little cigarettes, 99’s bad driving, the humorous fight scene on the garbage scow and Max discovering that 99 is indeed a girl

Max clocks in before his assignment.

Footnotes:
• This is the only black and white episode of the series.
• The opening is slightly different. Max drives a Ferrari 250 GT Cabriolet and tosses a hat into the back seat. This is the only time this car is used. In the rest of the episode 99 attempts to drive a limo and Max attempts to close the vehicle’s door.
• During filming of the pilot Don Adams learned that his wife Dorothy gave birth to their daughter Stacey Noel.
• Michael Dunn had quite a bit of experience playing the archenemy of secret agents – he had a reoccurring role as evil Miguelito Loveless on The Wild Wild West.
• “Zelinka” is an in-joke – Executive Producer Leonard Stern’s co-writer on The Honeymooners was Sydney Zelinka.
• Howard Morris worked with Mel Brooks on Your Show of Shows and he played Ernest T. Bass on the Andy Griffith Show.
• Dante’s Inthermo is a reference to Dante’s Inferno.
• Vito Scotti was probably in every old TV show known to man.
• Karen Norris had a role in the movie Fitzwilly which starred Barbara Feldon.

Glick meter: 100%

Oh Max meter: Probably the only episode 99 refers to Agent 86 as Maxwell. They haven’t quite hit their stride.

Control Agents: Hodgkins, Agent 34 (in locker), Fang. Also mentioned: Agent 57 who is in Hong Kong

Kaos Agents: Mr. Big, Zelinka, Garth, un-named Kaos agent at the airport and random Kaos Frogmen

Gadgets: Cone of Silence, Shoe Phone, Mirrored Cuff Links, Bino-Specs, Locker Key, a Beretta and the Inflato-Coat

Episode Locations: Washington, D.C., New York City, Cravehaven Laboratory, South Street Novelty

Agents 86 and 99 report that they've wrapped up their mission - only to get a wrong number.